Is this what a "family" does?

Dany
Sep 6, 2023
7 min read

I'm sorry if this is a little jumbled at first, the words were coming from my mind faster than I could type or think, even.

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**********TRIGGER WARNING**********

Graphic description of domestic violence

Please, don't read if you're sensitive to this

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After my dad and grandma passed My mom had only been disabled from a stroke since when my dad passed 2 months earlier. And right around the time her mom passed, in 2010, I had just lost the highest paying job I ever had, and started working 2 Indiana minimum wage jobs so I could pay my rent and bills. I only needed my dad's sister to help with that one month, not the whole thing, just part of one, electric or rent, and I was going to be able to pay the rest. I've probably told this before. But I called her, and begged her just to help with part of it so I wouldn't be evicted, this was only 2 years after my dad's passing, my mom's stoke, and losing our family business to her that we had almost 20 years, the skating rink, but it was home to me and my mom too. So, she tells me on the phone 2 years after all that loss, my mom was still struggling, and she was freaking millionare; yet she tells me and to tell my mom, to lose her number. So, I was very angry and hurt, so I did. Then when my grandma, you have the nerve to show up to my grandma's funeral service after all that. That's why we didn't give af about you when you were there. And, you got offended? After all the cold-hearted, sociopathic things you did to me and my mom, after all the years my mom and dad were together.

Also, you blaming me for dad's illness and death, because I called him in a very dangerous and violent situation I was in.

**********TRIGGER WARNING**********

Here's that story:

One of my best friends was good friends with him and for a few months, so was I. I thought that was great, "I finally found someone I was friends with first." OMG, was I wrong. We had just decided to start being a couple in December 2005. Just a month later, I was punched square in my jaw because I smarted off a little. I was stunned, at that time in my life, no man had ever punched me in my face. It was the usual domestic abuse circle chart scenerio. It was a lot different than what I have gone through JB. BP was scared little boy, scared of his mom. He had major issues with his relationship with her. Probably more like Norman Bates and his mother. It more of fast foward type of cycle with him. His craziness happened fast. When he would get into a rage with me, it was if he was watching a movie or someone else, he looked through me. It was ongoing for 6 months. I got to place where no one knew he was living with me. I would have to ask permission to go out and get the mail, to feed my doggies in my fenced in backyard, to talk on the phone with my friends and even go down the road a couple a blocks to my parents for cookouts and stuff.

On the night of May 11, 2006, it had been 6 months together and he seemed like he was in an ok mood. He wanted to go out and celebrate it. We went to a couple places, the second place, a couple guys I dated short term, but ended up being friends with, were there. I had a lot of guy friends, more than girls, purely platonic. He was always jealous of any man that would talk to me, friends, old guys, anyone. Well, they did a little karaoke at this bar, I wasn't in the mood for it that night. I started noticing his stares at me. There was a popular karaoke guy there, he was not at all attractive in any way to me, and jokes could be a little rude, but he said Hi and I said Hey. BP had been giving me dirty looks for sitting and talking to my guy friends at the table, I mean, "hey I brought you with me and introduced you as my bf," I said in my head.Then anyway when this other dude said hi, he snapped, but quietly. He had a smile on his face, leaned in and whispered in my ear,"yea, I see it, you're f**king him, aren't you? Well, yea, you're gonna know it when we get home." He was threatening to beat me so more when we got home. On our drive to my house, he kept it up, accusing me of sleeping around and telling me I really was going to get it tonight, and it wasn't a playful s*x joke. As soon as we were at my house, he got on my computer and started blasting Three Days Grace "Home." It was loud. I asked him to turn it down, he said no, he was going to do wtf ever he wanted to do. He was then complaining about me and acccusing me again. I told him that we were friends before a couple and he knew who I was and he accepted who I was and I'm tired of all the control and abuse, this is my home and if you don't like me, LEAVE! I stood up and got ready, this time I wasn't going to allow him to push me and start beating me, this time I was going to fight back. As soon as he came at me to shove me, I shoved him hard. I had no where to because of my house floorplan was and he could surprisingly run fast. I braced myself as he shoved me on the couch, and started to grab me, he broke a folding wood tv tray over my legs, messed them up pretty bad. He, honestly, wasn't that strong and he was shorter than me, and he also had hair about what my length is today. I grabbed his hair so tight and pulled down and he was saying sorry sorry, and begging me to let him go, I said only if he would stop fighting me, he said ok ok, so I slowly let go, and he started choking me. He finally stopped when I said was going to pass out and I couldn't breathe. So, instead he goes and grabs one of entertainment house speakers, they were really big and square and made of wood, he tries to pull it and thow it on my head, fortunately, I had the speaker wires close to my system's tuner so wouldn't reach and it just pulled out a little. So, as he's still trying to pull the speaker, i grabbed one of the broken tables legs and kinda tried to hit him to get him to back off. And then he picked up the other one, and started swinging at me, I knew i couldn't get away so I made a choice. I was still in front of my couch. I had learned to keep my truck/house keys and my flip phone in my pajamas pant's pockets. I dived down in front of the couch, got my phone out and reached as far as I could under the couch with my phone and I hit, send, send. I scared I was going to die, I hadn't even noticed yet that my head was soaked with my blood. He had busted the part of my head right before it goes and then onto the neck. I could have died, I didn't even lose consciousness. I just hit double send, which for those who don't know, will call your last call. I was screaming help me, help me, mommy daddy and they could hear him shouting, "DIE, B**CH, DIE B**CH!" My parents only lived a few short blocks down old Smith Street from me. Next thing I know, my dad is banging on my back patio door, and my half brother is knocking on the front door, I couldn't get to. BP just stops, and starts crying and saying, "what am i gonna do?" For some, at that point, my thinking was super crystal clear, I had absolutely no feelings this sick monster, I said I would go to the bathroom, wrap my hair in a towel, put my robe over my clothes and go tell my dad that we were just fighting, nothing bad happened etc. Right at this time BP followed my limping ass to the bathroom, and my house was built in 1904 so the bathroom had really high shelves built into the wall, my mom suddenly calls. She's on speakerphone and she's infuriated asking me if Im ok, BP walks into the kitchen and then back into the bathroom with a big steak knife pointed at his chest, he's crazy crying and saying he's going to kill himself, and my mom was so furious she said go ahead, and i said stop mom, because in my mind I was worried he was going to turn on me if he snapped again, I hung up on her, I pleaded with him to put it down, he eventually threw it in the sink, I grabbed it and threw it as hard as I could up into one of those far up shelves. then I said let me go talk to my dad, just stay here. As soon as I opened the door I almost jumped into my dad's arms, he sat me in his suburban. I was in the driveway which was went right next to kitchen window all the way to the back door. BP had broken one of the windows prior to that night, so he was in the kitchen listening and crazy crying some more yelling out the window to my dad, JM, come kill me, i deserve to die. My dad almost did, but because he was in bad health, I didn't want him to, I grabbed him and said I need you here. My own brother didn't really give af, most brothers would have the one to go in and beat him into a bloody pulp, mine just called the sheriffs office. When the deputy arrived I told him he might have gotten another steak knife and I was worried because my kitties were still in there and he has threatened them before.. i'll just say, BP got slammed on the deputy's car. For the next 2 months, I walked slower than my elderly grandma. I was in so much pain. I had numbness on my head where the injury had been. I had vertigo for a year. I had panic attacks and nightmares for about a year.

Anyway, I was in a life or death situation. It really wasn't a matter of choosing who could come save me. With my mom being disabled and unable to drive or help me in any way, and the rest of my dad's blood relatives betraying us the way they did, I was in a vulnerable state, I wouldn't have admitted at the time, I was too angry. That's where I met part 2 destruction of my life, my daughter's dad. I will post on that story another time. It's over a decade long and still ongoing in a way.

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